Getting Together
by Titania II
Summary: Sonny and Chad get together during a party. What happens there and afterward? Something tells me drama will ensue. Series of Demi Lovato songfics with a plot. Channy, SonnyChad, ChadSonny, whatever you wanna call it. Story better than summary. R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Yay, my first SWAC fic! Let me know how I did, please. The song is "Falling Over Me" by Demi Lovato. I don't own the song or the characters. Please review after reading!!

**This story is dedicated to any and all 16+ year olds who love Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Sonny With A Chance, Wizards of Waverly Place, Hannah Montana, etc, etc. It's hard being a fan of "teeny-bopper" stuff and as a 17 year old, I feel your pain! You are not alone! :D**

* * *

**Sonny's POV**

I really did not want to come to this party. I told Tawni this, but did the self-centered blonde listen to me? Of course not; that would go against the natural order of things (apparently). She naturally began dressing me in what she deemed appropriate for the event. This consisted of my blue dress with pink, white, and black spots and a black belt around my midsection. After that ordeal was over with, she forced me out the door and we were on our way.

It's not that I don't like parties; I'd just not been in that much of a party mood lately. I had too much on my mind to be bothered with one. However, Tawni either failed to notice or failed to care about this fact.

So here I am, standing in the middle of this giant mansion looking at all of these beautiful people, wondering how I wound up here. I was determined to find something to entertain myself. And that's when I spotted him, clear across the room.

_**I'm standing in the center of the room  
I'm watching boys follow girls' perfume  
All is as it should be I assume  
Except for the distance between me and you**_

He was wearing a nice outfit: dark-wash jeans with a bluish-purple button-up shirt and skater shoes. Typical Chad attire.

I never thought he would be one to stand off to the side when a party was in full swing like it is now. After all, the great Chad Dylan Cooper must always be the center of attention. Or so it would seem.

Although I knew our meeting would more than likely end up in a fight as usual, I decided that would be better than staying where I was alone on the dance floor like an outcast. I locked my eyes on his figure and proceeded across the expanse that stretched between us.

"Chad," I greeted as I walked up to him. Up close, I noticed that his usual smug look was not plastered on his face. Instead, he wore a troubled expression, although I was aware that something changed about this when he realized I was approaching him.

_**You're standing as a flower on the wall  
The room is still but we're about to fall  
And all the names that brought us here  
Simply fade away**_**  
**

"Sonny," he responded quite civilly. There was no witty remark, no rude comment. This worried me slightly.

"Chad, what's wrong?" I asked as I leaned against the wall next to him. "You look upset about something." I looked at his profile until he turned to look at me. I saw in his blue eyes that he was debating whether or not to tell me. It wasn't that I had never noticed his eyes before, but there was something so much more captivating and intense about them now. I felt like I could drown at any moment; I wonder if he felt it, too. He looked away after a few moments, back to the bustling celebrities and VIPs.

He sighed and began, "'Upset' is the wrong word for it. This thing on my mind is nothing life-threatening, but it could be life-changing if fate were on my side." I stared at him questioningly; he wasn't making much sense at the moment. He glanced back to me and noticed my quizzical expression. He chuckled. "A girl," he clarified finally.

I felt my mouth open in an "o" shape, and I looked away from him. "Ah," I said because I really did not know how else to respond to this. Did I really want to try to give the boy I've been in love with for a year advice on how to get another girl?

_**Who you are is fall is falling over me  
(Who you are is fall is falling over me)  
Who you are is everything I need  
(Who you are is everything I need)**_**  
**

"Go on," I said for lack of better words.

He studied me for a few moments before complying. Looking at his shoes, he sighed. "This girl is amazing. She is funny, smart, witty, nice, and talented. She's the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I never thought I could fall this hard for someone, but it seems as though I have. I can't stop thinking about her, ever since I met her." He scanned the room; I assumed looking for this girl he was so infatuated with.

"She sounds like a keeper," I muttered meekly. This wasn't a total lie; she sounded perfect, just not for him; especially since she wasn't me.

He looked at me and smiled. "Oh, she is definitely one to hold on to." He was practically glowing. "She's a real girl-next-door type, someone I could see spending the rest of my life with."

_**I'm hoping, I'm waiting  
I'm praying you are the one  
And I'm hoping, I'm waiting  
I'm praying you are the one**_**  
**

"So what's the problem?" I asked, though I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer. I was positive the disappointment was etched into my face and I knew he could hear it in my voice. A frown had been placed where my usual grin was. His speech was hard enough to listen to, and I wasn't sure I could take another spiel from him about how amazing this other girl was.

He looked deep into my eyes and suddenly it felt like my entire world was about to shift. "Well, she's on a rival show." I could see the light behind his eyes and something began to click. "And I have a feeling our friends wouldn't approve, but I think they'd eventually get over it." It was starting to make more sense now. "But," he continued, "I don't even know if she likes me back. And that's the biggest problem of them all."

Bingo. A light-bulb went on in my head and it was like the fog had been lifted. I smirked as I began to form a plan in my head. "Well," I started, "how will you ever know if this girl likes you or not if you don't ask? I mean, I know that if I were to be _that_ passionate about someone, I would let them know."

The light in his eyes dimmed as he realized what I was saying. Or what he thought I was saying. _If_ I were that passionate, I had said. "Oh. Right. Well, maybe you're right," he said in a defeated tone.

_**I can't believe that night turned into today  
I used the line you were supposed to say  
And all the names that brought us here  
Now we have to thank**_**  
**

I nodded. "I know I am. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my own advice." He nodded as I pushed off the wall, walked a few feet, turned around, and came back to stand in front of him. He looked puzzled. I reached out my hand just as a slow song was starting. "Chad Dylan Cooper, may I have this dance?" I asked giggling.

He smiled and gladly accepted my offer. I grinned as we made our way onto the dance floor in the middle of everyone.

_**Who you are is fall is falling over me  
(Who you are is fall is falling over me)  
And who you are is everything I need  
(Who you are is everything I need)**_**  
**

The moment couldn't have been more perfect. The lights were dim, the music slow and poignant, and everything around us seemed to disappear. We were in our own little world and I couldn't have been more thrilled. It reminded me of the almost-dance we shared after my failed attempt at a prom at Condor studios, but this time it was perfect.

As the song started, he wrapped his hands around my waist and I put mine around his neck. We swayed slowly with the music, just inches apart. A comfortable silence fell over us as the song progressed and my head fit perfectly on his shoulder. He held me like he would never let go and I knew at that moment that our relationship would never be the same.

_**I'm hoping, I'm waiting  
I'm praying you are the one**_**  
**

As the music was reaching the pivotal moment in which the singer began to belt the notes and the key changes and everything good about the song comes through, I pulled slightly away from Chad's body. He still held on to me as if he was afraid I would run away; little did he know that was the last thing on my mind.

Deep chocolate brown melded with ocean blue. I thought I was going to lose myself right then and there. He began leaning down and I tilted my head ever so slightly upward. I felt his breath fan over my face – quick and erratic, much like my own heartbeat – and his nose brush mine when the song suddenly ended and a faster dance-party one came on. Everyone around us began "crumping" and bumping into us.

Perfect moment ended.

We looked around us, startled for a moment, before he took my hand and led me to the foyer of the mansion. "Do you want to go somewhere to talk?" he asked sheepishly.

How could I say no? I nodded, a small smile playing across my features. He smiled in return, and we walked hand-in-hand away from the party.

_**If you want I will wait, I will follow  
I'm here to stay  
As long as we're promised tomorrow  
I promise you today I'll wait, I'll wait**_**  
**

We walked along in silence for about a block. Our hands were still interlocked and it was a comfortable silence, but something needed to be said. It didn't look like he was about to start the conversation anytime soon, so I assumed that meant it was my obligation.

"So…" Wow, what a great start. "How long have you felt that way?" I had always been told it's best to start with the hardest topic first. This was not the hardest question to ask, but it was close enough.

He glanced at me. "A while," he said elusively.

"How long is a while, Chad?" We arrived at a playground and climbed onto the jungle gym to sit at the top.

He blushed and stared at the ground. "Since you tried to make peace between the shows," he muttered shyly.

I stared at him bewildered. "Seriously?" I asked, coming out of my trance. Of all the moments he could have chosen, he chose some of my worst; it was during that bet when I faked a sprained ankle to win a game of musical chairs and made him say he loved my show on his own.

He chuckled and looked up at me. "Seriously," he responded. "I knew from then that you were different. No one had ever tried to bridge the gap between the shows before and definitely no one had ever beaten Chad Dylan Cooper in anything, let alone a game of musical chairs."

He started laughing at the memory and I couldn't help but join in. He reached for my hand and intertwined our fingers. I could have stayed like that forever and would have, had that been an option. I laid my head against his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around my waist. It was amazing to me how perfectly I fit there in the crook of his neck.

We stayed like that for a long time, neither of us bothering to move: me with my head nestled into his chest, and he with his arm around me, playing with my fingers with his other hand.

_**Who you are is fall is falling over me  
(Who you are is fall is falling over me)  
And who you are has got me on my knees  
Who you are is everything I need**_**  
**

After a while, I knew that we had to talk about what was going on. He knew this, too, but neither of us were willing to break the tranquility of the moment. Finally, though, I spoke.

"Chad?"

"Hmm?" He sounded half asleep.

"What does all of this mean?" I sat up and looked him in the eye. Once again, I felt that same drowning sensation and knew that he felt it, too.

He sighed. "Well, I don't know about you, but I want this to mean that we are now officially together." He looked at me for reassurance and I beamed back at him. "I want this to mean that I can call you whenever just to say hi, that I can kiss you whenever I want to, and that I can be there for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to rant to. I want this to mean that I can take you out on dates and send flowers to your dressing room for no occasion; that we can be around each other in public and not be constantly at war, but most of all I want this to mean that you'll be mine, Sonny Munroe."

There were tears in my eyes, even though that was very unlike me; what he said was too sweet for words. I stared back into his eyes, trying to figure out what I could say to him that would even slightly compare to what he had just said.

"Sonny?" I could tell by the look on his face that Chad was worried what my answer would be. A smile spread across my face and I knew exactly how to reply to his question.

_**I'm hoping, I'm waiting  
I'm praying you are the one  
I'm hoping, I'm waiting  
I'm praying you are the one**_**  
**

Without taking the time to think about what I was doing, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. Fireworks instantly went off in my heart and I knew I would want to stay in this position for quite some time.

The kiss started out slowly, but soon grew in intensity as Chad kept one arm around my waist rubbing circles with his thumb and my hands became tangled in his hair. His oh-so-perfect hair actually _was_ perfect. His other hand cupped my cheek as our mouths seemed to become one.

For a moment, I thought maybe we would never be able to separate ourselves from each other (which I would have been completely fine with) but this thought was fleeting and the need for oxygen overwhelming. As we pulled away from each other, we didn't go far, letting our foreheads rest against each other. While we caught our breath, we stole butterfly kisses just because we could.

I suddenly remembered that he was awaiting my response to what he had said earlier. Once again without thinking about the consequences, I closed my eyes and whispered, "I love you."

I wasn't sure if he had caught it as I kept my eyes closed. The silence grew and I became worried that maybe I had said too much. I opened my eyes to see Chad's smiling face. His eyes met mine and I knew he felt the same way I did.

Taking one more quick kiss, he sighed and said, "I love you, too," with more emotion than I could have thought possible.

_**You are the one**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Here's the next chapter! It's long and kind of sad and not my favorite thing I've ever written, but it's not horrid. Let me know what you think!

The song is "Stop the World" by Demi Lovato. I'm thinking of using a Jonas Brothers song for the next chapter, but I'm not sure yet, so we'll just see what inspires me! Feel free to leave suggestions!

* * *

"Ow, Chad, you're pushing me into a shelf."

"Sorry, babe." He chuckled.

"It's okay, much better now." I smirked at him before pulling him back for yet another passionate kiss.

I felt like I was on fire with him this near. I could barely function. When oxygen became absolutely necessary, I pulled away. He pouted and I almost caved for one more round of his lips on mine. Luckily, my will power was stronger.

"Chad, I have to go," I told him sadly, pecking his lips once more.

"But," he responded, never giving even the slightest inclination that he was going to let go any time soon, "I don't want you to. Just skip rehearsal. Stay here with me." I gave him a look that meant I would _not_ be staying in a closet for much longer, even if he was here. He caught the hint. "Or we can wait until the coast is clear and sneak over to my dressing room?" He raised his eyebrows in question and I was tempted to give in.

I sighed. "No, as tempting as that offer is." His face fell, but his arms remained locked around my waist. "I have to go, if I bail out again, Tawni will start to get suspicious. She's smarter than she looks, trust me."

He nodded. "Fine, I understand. But you owe me later." I grinned, kissed him one last time (slowly and sweetly), and opened the door. After checking for witnesses, I darted down the hall towards the stage I was to be on in two minutes.

Things would be so much easier if we could just tell people. After that night at the party, Chad and I discussed what would become of our relationship. We decided that things would be better for everyone – me, him, Tawni, Portlyn, Marshall, everyone – if we kept our infatuation to ourselves, at least for now. We agreed at the moment that this would be easier and less complicated. Besides, we weren't sure how Mr. Condor would feel about "co-worker relationships."

_**I don't know why, I don't know why I'm so afraid  
I don't know how, I don't know how to fix the pain  
We're living a lie, living a lie this need to change  
We're out of time, we're out of time and it's still the same**_

As the weeks went on, it became more and more apparent to both of us that having a secret relationship was a lot harder and much more work than we originally thought. Too many times had someone walked into Chad's dressing room unannounced, resulting in me springing off him yelling some nonsense about how he fell backwards and pulled me down with him.

After the second time that excuse was necessary, we decided that dressing rooms were not the best place to rendezvous. We began resorting to closets, the backseat of his car, empty parks late at night, and even each other's house if our parents happened to be out of town. But it was getting exhausting.

I didn't care anymore, I was falling for Chad Dylan Cooper and I wanted to shout it to the world and even down the hallways of Condor Studios. I had brought the subject to Chad's attention multiple times, but his reaction was the same every time.

He would sigh and hold both of my hands while speaking in a soothing tone. "Sonny," he'd start, "you and me both know why we can't tell people. It would cause too much drama: our casts would be angry with us, paparazzi would ambush us, rumors would start. That kind of reaction from everyone is the kind of thing that could tear us apart. Give it some time before we tell anyone; we'll be stronger then and we'll be able to handle anything."

Every time, I nodded and agreed. He was right and I knew it, there was nothing to argue. I just wish there was some way we could be together and not have to worry about everyone else.

_**We can't stop the world, but there's so much more that we could do  
You can't stop this girl, from falling more in love with you,  
You said, "Nobody has to know,  
Give us time to grow and take it slow,"  
But I'd stop the world, if it'd finally let us be alone  
Let us be alone**_

The first cover of Tween Weekly I ignored as usual. The second was a bit harder to look past, but I managed. But then the whispers of the couple started and it was all I could do not to break down.

"Did you hear?" I heard someone whisper in the commissary. I tried my best not to listen, but was unsuccessful. "Yeah, that's right. Chad Dylan Cooper is apparently sleeping with that girl he co-stars with. You know the one; she plays Penelope on the show. I don't remember her real name. Oh well, either way, they must be getting serious, there was a picture of him looking at engagement rings for her in Tween Weekly and I heard her gushing over him to another girl in the hall!"

I could take anymore. I told my castmates I forgot something on set and really needed to find it before I ran out of the cafeteria fighting the tears in my eyes. I wasn't looking where I was going and ran right into the one person I did not want to see at the moment.

Chad put his arms around me and looked around to make sure no one was within sight. After establishing this, he leaned down to look into my eyes.

"Sonny, what's wrong?" He sounded so sweet and concerned. I couldn't speak for fear that would spur the tears, so I just shook my head. Taking my hand, he led me through the halls to his dressing room, avoiding everyone we encountered. We sat on his couch and he stroked my hand lovingly.

"Now," he said, "what's going on that's got my Sonshine all rainy?" He chuckled; I didn't. He noticed and became serious at once.

I took a deep breath, swallowed the lump in my throat, and continued. "Um… Is it- Is it true that you and Portlyn are…together?" I could barely bring myself to say it. Although we weren't public, I thought we had made it clear that we were not going to see anyone else.

"What? Where would you get… Oh," he stopped, realizing why I had even asked. He chuckled again. "Sonny… Sonny, look at me." I did and was instantly lost in his eyes. "Sonny, do not believe what Tween Weekly prints. They would say that my parents were cheetahs if they thought it would sell. I am not with Portlyn or anyone else. I am with you."

He said this last sentence with such certainty that I knew there was no acting behind it. He was telling me the truth and I couldn't have been happier. I kissed him quickly but passionately, and then started laughing. He laughed with me. Until I stopped abruptly.

"What?" he asked.

"Why were you looking at engagement rings?"

_**I'm hearing the noise, hearing the noise from all around  
I'm on the edge, I'm on the edge of breaking down  
Like Bonnie and Clyde, let's find a ride, and ditch this town  
To keep it alive, keep it alive, don't make a sound **_

He chuckled nervously. Chad is never nervous, so the fact that he so obviously was worried me. I steeled myself for whatever might be heading my way. When he opened his mouth to speak, I never thought of what he was about to say.

"Sonny," he began, "we've been doing this…thing for about two months now, right?" I nodded. "I know it may seem like I'm wanting to move too fast, but I really feel like this is the real thing. I love you, Sonny, and I want to marry you."

I was dumbstruck. Initially, I didn't know what to say, but that quickly passed and then the dilemma was what to say first. "Chad, we're eighteen. Barely. I'm flattered and I love you, too, but why so soon?"

He seemed to have already thought out his answer to this when he responded. "I know it seems like we're moving at lightning speed, but lots of people get married at our age and with less of a relationship than we have. I want everyone to know that you are taken."

I felt a small glimmer of hope at his words. That made sense. Almost. I considered my options and deliberated on my reply. Finally, I had somewhat of an answer for his proposal. "Your offer is tempting and I want nothing more than to say yes at this very moment." He beamed. "But," his face fell, "I need to think. Is that okay?"

His eyes were dim, but he smiled slightly and nodded. "Of course it's okay. Take all the time you need. Just don't let the age thing deter you; we can have a long engagement, if that's what you'd prefer."

I smiled at his consideration. I leaned in for a kiss before excusing myself to go to rehearsal. As always, he didn't want me to leave, but he seemed less insistent on my staying on this visit.

_**We can't stop the world, but there's so much more that we could do  
You can't stop this girl, from falling more in love with you,  
You said, "Nobody has to know,  
Give us time to grow and take it slow,"  
But I'd stop the world, if it'd finally let us be alone  
Let us be alone**_

During rehearsal that day and every day after for a week, I was not very present mentally. I got all my lines right and kept up with my cues, but I barely caught half the jokes and didn't put as much energy into my performances. I don't know if the cast noticed, but no one said anything if they did.

At meals I barely talked and in the prop room, I stared blankly at the TV. I couldn't get Chad's proposal out of my head or what I was going to say to him.

I knew I couldn't imagine my life without Chad, but did I want to marry him so soon? I had barely even begun to live, although I knew I would never feel more alive than I did when he was near. He could be the biggest jerk in the world or the most sensitive guy I had ever met. One moment he was caring and thoughtful, the next he was conceited and offensive. He was hot and cold, and I loved every bit of it.

It had been a week and a half since I had asked Chad for time to think, and I finally had his answer.

_**Never wanna take that final look  
I'll turn another page, won't close the book**_

It took him a full millisecond to open the door when I knocked. I still had my hand raised to strike the door again.

"Expecting someone?" I asked with eyebrows raised.

"Only you," he responded, pulling me into his room by the waist. He held me tightly as if there were no tomorrow and kissed me passionately.

Soon enough we were lying on the couch, him on top of me, still kissing as intensely as before. I knew I had to break away to give him my answer, but I was too consumed by him at that moment to think straight. Eventually, however, oxygen became necessary and we sat up, still breathing heavily.

"Miss me?" I smirked his trademark smirk.

"You have no idea," he breathed. "So, do you have an answer for me yet?" It had become routine that he would ask me this whenever we were together, hoping I would end the wait.

"Actually," I began, "I do." He looked at me excitedly and motioned for me to continue. "I love you, and would love to marry you. But I want to go public with our relationship first. I want to be your girlfriend in front of everyone before I'm your fiancé."

Chad looked uneasy. "Sonny, we've talked about this, remember? Being public would stir things up. More rumors would start and we'd never have any privacy."

I looked away. "So, you just thought we'd get engaged and even married secretly? That's not the kind of happily ever after I want."

"No," he defended, "I know that. I just thought maybe we could take some more time and grow closer before we told people."

I shook my head. "No, Chad. I can't be secretive anymore. I love you and I want to be with you, but I don't want to sneak around and lie anymore." Tears were welling up in my eyes and I struggled to hold them back. "I'm sorry, I just can't. Not anymore." I looked into his eyes once more before standing and leaving his dressing room.

I ignored his calls to me until I couldn't hear them anymore.

_**We can't stop the world, but there's so much more that we could do  
You can't stop this girl, from falling more in love with you,  
You said, "Nobody has to know,  
Give us time to grow and take it slow,"  
But I'd stop the world, if it'd finally let us be alone**_

_**Let us be alone**_

It had been three days. That's all and I missed him more than I thought I could ever miss anyone. I couldn't believe what happened at first, the next morning I tried to convince myself it was all a dream: the rumors, the proposal, the ending… But when I walked into the commissary for breakfast and saw Chad's bloodshot eyes and how he avoided my gaze, I knew it was real.

I faked a cold and took a sick day so that I didn't have to pretend that I was my usual bubbly self. I wasn't kidding when I said I was tired of lying.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the three-named jerkthrob off my mind. How his lips felt on mine, his snide comments that were secretly compliments, the depth of his blue eyes, even his perfect hair haunted my every thought and it was all I could do not to become a puddle of sadness and tears. I knew I had done the right thing in telling him what I did, but…

I didn't think he would give up so easily…

_**Let us be alone...**_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** This chapter is dedicated to my friend Alyssa because she's awesome. :D The song is "Don't Forget" by Demi Lovato.

I need a **disclaimer** for this story, so here it is! I don't own the show, the characters, or the songs. If only, if only...

* * *

I went back to work and tried to act as normal as possible. Everyone could tell something had happened, but no one asked what. They all assumed I would tell them when I was ready. I knew I needed to keep going, that I couldn't shut down just because of this one boy.

But he wasn't just some boy. He was so much more than just some boy, he was the boy I loved and could see spending the rest of my life with. We'd star in lead roles of the latest chick flick and have to be escorted everywhere we went because of the paparazzi. Then one day we would decide that it was time to settle down somewhere permanently and start a family. We'd have little Chad Dylan Coopers running around every which way and eventually we'd grow old together.

No. I mentally slapped myself. I had to stop thinking like that. The more I did, the more it hurt and the more I wanted to go running back into his arms as easily as I had the first time. I knew that couldn't happen so I focused completely on the sketch we were rehearsing.

When we were sure the skit couldn't get any better, we called it a day and went to the commissary for some fro-yos. What I saw as we walked in shocked me into silence.

Chad was there. At his usual table. With a girl. Laughing and looking as good as he did when we were together.

_**Did you forget that I was even alive?  
Did you forget everything we ever had?  
Did you forget, did you forget about me?  
**_

When he saw that I had spotted him, he quickly averted his eyes to the ground. I couldn't drag my eyes away from the scene in front of me. I wanted nothing more than to run to my dressing room, lock the door, and never come out. But that would have raised much suspicion, so I resorted to getting fro-yo and _then_ leaving as quickly as possible.

I wanted to pass his table without acknowledgement. That was my plan. My cast mates, however, had something different in mind.

"Pooper," Nico addressed him in his special "nickname."

Chad looked up, obviously less than pleased to be distracted. "Randoms," he muttered back.

_So now I'm just another random? _I thought in sadness. _Not even good enough to be acknowledged separately anymore._ I felt the tears begin to prick behind my eyes, but refused to let anyone see.

Grady joined in on the "conversation" as usual. "I see you've gotten yourself a new squeeze here." The blonde girl sitting with Chad glared at Grady. "Does Portlyn know?"

Chad winced and glanced at me briefly before continuing. "You don't know what you're talking about, Random." Chad was talking through his teeth, clearly getting defensive. "Just leave your nose out of everyone's business." His voice sounded strained, as if he was trying to hold back tears.

_Don't kid yourself,_ a voice in my head told me. _You're just hearing what you want to._

"Whatever," Tawni mumbled as she turned to the yogurt machine, signaling us all to follow.

I tried not to look at Chad, but I eventually couldn't stand it anymore. When I looked back at the table he was at, he nor the blonde bimbo with him were anywhere to be seen.

I guess I really was imagining things.

_**Did you regret ever standing by my side?  
Did you forget we were feeling inside?  
Now I'm left to forget about us  
**_

After getting our fro-yos, we all went to our respective dressing rooms to catch up on school work. I doubted I would be able to force my mind to do math equations, but it would get me away from everyone and for that I would be grateful. Well, mostly everyone.

"Sonny, what's going on?" Tawni didn't waste any time at all starting her interrogation. As soon as we walked into our room, she closed the door and looked at me expectantly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Tawni." Darn my denial voice. She knew right away that I was lying and she gave me a look that told me so. There was no use. "Okay, so I do know what you're talking about. But I can't tell you." I sighed sadly and sat on the lounge chair.

"It's about Chad, isn't it?" She didn't say this like a question, more like a statement that needed confirming.

I looked at her warily. "How did you know?"

"Look, Sonny," she started, "I know I'm not the most brilliant person out there, but I do know you. You looked like you were about to fall apart in the commissary, why do you think I didn't let the other two continue with their attempted humiliation of Chad? I saw what just standing there was doing to you."

I didn't know what to say, so I just looked at the floor. I wanted to ask how she knew it was affecting me at all, but I was scared of her answer. I braced myself; I knew it had to be asked. "How did you know? I mean, I could have been thinking about something else. It wasn't necessarily," I hesitated at his name, "Chad." My heart broke again.

_**But somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
**__**You can't forget it  
**_

"Well, Sonny, it doesn't take a genius to figure out where you've been sneaking off to so much lately." I stared at her wide-eyed. "Oh, yes," she continued, "I know. It happened at that party, right? After that, you guys changed around each other. Scowling less and smiling more. I could tell what was going on."

I was still wide-eyed. "Does… Does anyone else know?" I questioned.

She shook her head. "Not that I know of. It's just me, and before you ask, yes I will keep your secret." She smiled at me and I smiled back. It wasn't my usual toothy grin, but it was something. "So, tell big sis Tawni what happened."

I was uncertain at first, but then I remembered that this was Tawni: the girl who kept all of my secrets and even sabotaged _Gotcha_ when we guest-starred. I knew I could trust her, so I let it all out. By the end of the story, she never every single detail I could remember, and for a moment she sat there stunned.

"Well," she said finally, "I guess you did the right thing. I would have done the same in your position. But you still don't seem happy."

_No shit, Sherlock_, the evil voice in my head whispered. I ignored it. "I just- I thought things would work. And when they didn't I thought he'd at least be sad for a little while. But then today in the caf… It looked like he didn't even care that we're over. It's like he's just forgotten everything we had…"

_**So now I guess this is where we have to stand  
Did you regret ever holding my hand?  
Never again, please don't forget, don't forget  
**_

I started crying and Tawni rushed over to comfort me. She did it much better this time than she did during the James fiasco. We didn't say anything for a long time. I cried for everything: me, Chad, the bimbo he was with, even Tawni's shirt which now had to be ruined due to my running mascara. Finally, I didn't have any more tears and could speak once more.

"I don't get it, Tawni," I said quietly, my head still resting on her shoulder.

"Don't get what?" she asked, as I lifted my head and looked straight in front of me.

"It all seemed so perfect." I could feel another bought of tears welling up in my chest, but I pushed them down. "We fought, then became friends, then flirted, then turned into what had to be the best relationship since Romeo & Juliet. It should have worked out. I loved him and I still do. And I really thought he loved me back, I would have bet my entire life that he really truly loved me back." A tear slipped.

"I think he does. He just doesn't know how to handle being heart-broken. He's probably never been in this position. After all, he is Chad Dylan Cooper." She imitated him when she said his named and smiled. I knew that was supposed to make me laugh, but I couldn't. I just shook my head and looked at the floor.

"I just wish I could forget as easily as he did."

_**We had it all, we were just about to fall  
Even more in love, than we were before  
I won't forget, I won't forget about us  
**_

Tawni and I decided we needed another fro-yo, so we made our way to the commissary. When we sat down with our frozen snack, Chad walked in. Upon seeing us, he turned on his heel and walked out. I just wanted to talk to him.

"Wait, Chad!" I shouted down the hall. He slowed to a stop, but didn't turn around. It wasn't until I had caught up with him that I wondered what exactly I was going to say to him. Standing face to face, both of our gazes seemed to be fixed on our shoes. "Um… How are you?" I asked in a failed attempt to appear normal.

"Fine," he said. I knew this was not an invitation to start one of our fights, and that somehow hurt more than seeing him with another girl.

"Good, that's…good." This was not going as I had planned and I knew I needed to get away before I broke down again. "Well, that's good," I repeated. "I'm gonna get back to Tawni now. See you around."

"Yeah," he mumbled, "see you."

I hesitated for a second, but walked back to the cafeteria. I sat down and Tawni looked at me expectantly.

"Well?" she asked. "How'd it go?"

I looked into my bowl and silently shook my head.

_**But somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
**__**You can't forget it  
**_

That night, I pondered why we had to end our relationship. I knew it was my fault, that I had given him an ultimatum, but I didn't understand why he didn't want everyone to know about our relationship. Was he embarrassed? Did he want to be able to have his cake and eat it, too? Or was he honestly worried that the press would tear us apart if we announced our love so soon?

He had been seen with me countless times and even went on a fake date with me, so I couldn't believe he was embarrassed. I hadn't heard or seen anything about him being with other girls while we were together (other than the Portlyn rumor, which she had even discounted to the press), so I knew the second question was invalid, too.

The third option seemed to make the most sense, but it also seemed less likely to be the real cause of his wanted privacy. I knew as well as the next person that the press could be vicious with their photos, rumors, and blogs. Yet I still refused to believe that ours was the kind of relationship that was torn apart so easily.

It had always been my understanding that when two people truly love each other, they talked about everything – even rumors designed to come between them. Maybe he didn't understand that I would have fought through all of that to be with him. Or maybe he did realize it, but he didn't want the same responsibility to fight, too.

Either way, I knew one thing: it was going to be a long time before I was over Chad Dylan Cooper.

_**Somewhere we went wrong  
We were once so strong  
Our love is like a song  
**__**You can't forget it at all  
**_

The next day, Chad was with another girl at breakfast. A brunette today. He didn't look nearly as happy as he did with the previous girl, but it still felt like a knife had been driven into my heart. I barely acknowledged him as I went to sit with Nico who happened to be sitting alone on this morning. Two could play at this game.

"Hey, Nico, whatchya doing?" I asked loud enough for Chad to hear. I saw in the corner of my eye that he was looking at me. I smiled, but it didn't reach my eyes or show my teeth like my true smiles did. I hoped he didn't catch this.

"Um, eating breakfast, Sonny. What are you doing?" he responded, looking at me quizzically.

I sighed and gave up on the act. "Trying to be happy and act normal," I whispered to him. I hoped he wouldn't ask why I needed to put on an act for that to happen.

"Well, you're kind of freaking me out, to be honest." He took a bite of his…whatever it was, and I glanced over to Chad's table. He was still looking at me, a deep sadness in his eyes. That look made the knife already in my heart twist around and around.

"Right," I said to Nico. "Sorry about that." He nodded in dismissal. "I'm just going to go back to my room." I stood up quickly, hoping he didn't notice the way my voice cracked or the glossiness of my eyes.

I walked quickly out of the commissary, feeling Chad's eyes on me the entire way.

_**And at last all the pictures have been burned  
And all the past is just a lesson that we've learned  
I won't forget, please don't forget us  
**_  
"I can't do this anymore, Tawn. I need him. I don't care anymore whether or not we're public, I just need him." I had broken down when I returned from the commissary that morning and had yet to stop thinking about _him_.

We were in our dressing room during a break from rehearsal; she was sitting in her chair in front of her mirror and looked at me in the reflection. "I know you do, I was just waiting for you to realize it. Now go tell him that." Tawni gave me an encouraging smile, which only worked a little.

"But," I protested, "what if he doesn't want me back? That should be obvious with the other girls he's been with. I don't think he'll want me."

Tawni sighed. "Sonny, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I know what you just said is completely untrue. He still loves you; he just might not realize it."

It thought about what she said for a few moments. "Well," I decided, "if that's true, then he doesn't deserve me." Tawni sighed and shook her head, clearly disappointed with my deduction of the situation. "If he loves me and wants me back, then he'll have to come to me."

Even as I said the words, I knew they weren't true. The next time I saw Chad's blue eyes, I knew I would cave. I left the dressing room in search of the three-named beauty, despite my previous determination to make him crawl back. I headed in the direction of his show's set, thinking he would be there. Instead I found him sitting in an empty hallway, staring at the opposite wall.

_**Somewhere we went wrong  
Our love is like a song but you won't sing along  
You've forgotten about us**_

When he heard me approach, he looked up. When his eyes registered that it was me in front of him, he stood. I prepared myself for what I hoped would be our glorious reunion. However, as he got to his feet, he averted his eyes to the ground.

"Sonny," he muttered. "Sorry, I'll get out of your way."

And with that he was gone. Like nothing had ever happened between us. Like we were perfect strangers.

_**Don't forget…**_


	4. Chapter 4

"So, he just walked away?" asked Tawni. She was as dumbfounded as I was about Chad's emotionless encounter with me earlier. "That doesn't make any sense. He loves you!"

I shook my head. "I don't think so, Tawni. I think he might actually be happier without me around to hold him back." As I said this, my eyes began to fill with tears for the third time that day. I fought them back and swallowed the lump forming in my throat. I was getting sick of crying over this boy; this boy, who obviously didn't care about me. At least not anymore.

"No," Tawni demanded, anger visible on her face. "I don't believe it. He loves you, Sonny. He's just being egotistical, refusing to admit that he might actually be hurting over someone other than himself."

I shook my head, letting the conversation end there. I knew I had the choice to talk to Chad, that nothing was holding me back except myself. But anytime I thought of walking over to the _Mackenzie Falls_ set and on to his dressing room, the memory of his smile the past two mornings flooded my mind and stopped me.

I love his smile. That smile could make my heart melt when he looked into my heart, tear away my disposition when we were arguing, lift my spirits when I was sad, and warm my soul whenever he allowed it shine to through. I would do anything to see him smile. Even if that meant letting him go his own way, forget about me, and move on to other girls.

I wanted him to keep smiling, even if it broke my heart.

_**You've got a face for a smile, you know  
A shame you waste it  
When you're breaking me slowly  
**__**But I've got a world of chances for you**_

The next time I saw Chad, I felt like I wasn't going to be able to make it to our table in the cafeteria. My chest closed up and the tears in my eyes blurred my vision. I looked away from him; I didn't want him to have the satisfaction of knowing he had the ability to destroy me.

We all got our fro-yos and sat around the table. I listened to Grady and Nico scheme to get back at Zora for super-gluing all of the objects in their dressing room to their places (everything meaning tables, chairs, pictures, shoes, jackets, and even dirty clothes). I laughed along with everyone and, to anyone who didn't know any better, it would have looked like absolutely nothing could bother us in our little bubble. However, if one were to look just a little closer they would have noticed that everything I did seemed forced and half-hearted.

I let my guard down for a second as my eyes travelled to Chad's usual table. His eyes were intense on me and filled with an emotion I couldn't place. It wasn't annoyance, as I had expected; it wasn't sadness, as I had hoped. He looked like he couldn't comprehend what he was seeing.

In that instant in which our eyes met, three scenarios played in my mind. The first was one in which I got up from my table, went to him and kissed him with all of my pent up emotion; he could either respond to the kiss or push me away disgusted. In the second daydream, I stood from my table, went to him, and cried on his chest; once again, he could either put his arms around my waist and comfort me, or cringe from my tears. The third situation hurt the most to think about; in it, nothing happened, we simply looked away from each other and continued with our days.

As I was weighing which scene to play out in real life, he looked away. He made the decision.

_**I've got a world of chances for you  
I've got a world of chances,  
Chances that you're burning through  
**_

I've always been told and believed that I express myself best through writing, whether it's a song, poem, or just a letter. Sitting in my dressing room later that evening, I found myself relying on that known fact to tell Chad everything I had been feeling.

I started the letter five times and in each draft I found something wrong with what I had written: I sounded too desperate, I was being too harsh, I was being too lenient, I wasn't making any sense.

I started over yet again and hoped that this letter would make my point. The problem was that I didn't know what point I wanted to make. I could write a letter that would make him feel guilty, one that would make him angry, one that he probably wouldn't even understand…

I just didn't know how to write a letter that would prove to him how much I loved him.

_**I've got a **__**paper**__** and pen  
I go to write a goodbye  
And that's when I know  
**__**I've got a world of chances for you**_

I eventually gave up. I threw away my failed attempts at a meaningful message. Flopping down on my bed, I turned my iPod on full blast in an attempt to drown out my thoughts.

The only songs that seemed to play were slow sad songs about love and heartbreak. The tears I was gaining familiarity with returned with each melodic chorus. I thought about just going to bed to try to get some peace, but my mind was running in circles at a million different speeds. I knew sleep would not come easy tonight.

Sitting up, I grabbed my pen and notebook off the bedside desk and started at the blank page. I started doodling anything I could think of to keep my hand occupied. I focused on the stars and hearts and random geometrical shapes the ink was forming when realization struck.

It didn't matter what I wrote to Chad, if anything at all. I could write a letter expounding on every last emotion I've ever felt towards the gorgeous jerk-throb from the very first moment I laid eyes on him on my television set back in Wisconsin. I could write him a letter telling him I used to love him, but things were different now, no matter how much of a lie that would be. I could write him a letter telling him pigs have finally sprouted wings and fish could now walk and talk amongst us humans. None of it would matter.

None of it would matter because no matter how much emotion I put into this letter, he could easily ignore it or rip it into shreds or burn it or – even worse – laugh at it.

It was with this insight on our situation that caused me to throw the notebook and pen on the floor and give up.

As I laid down for sleep that night, my iPod still playing in the background, I finally let my tears spill onto the pillow as I continued thinking about the one and only Chad Dylan Cooper and how much I wanted him to know what I was feeling.

_**I've got a world of chances for you  
I've got a world of chances,  
Chances that you're burning through  
**_

The next day when the cast went to breakfast, I stayed in my dressing room. After my epiphany from the night before, I decided I needed some time alone to think. As much as I love my cast mates, they were not the greatest philosophers of our times and didn't make for great company when contemplating heavy situations.

I sat at my vanity and stared blankly into my reflection. I barely even looked like myself anymore; my eyes were rimmed in red and I looked like I hadn't slept in days. My hair was pulled back into a messy pony-tail and I didn't even have any make-up on. I had told myself it was because I needed a "lazy day" today, but the real reason was because I thought if Chad didn't care what I looked like, why should I?

As I heard this statement enter my mind, I wanted to slap myself. Chad and I were done. Okay. But I didn't want to completely lose myself over a guy, especially one that didn't want to be with me in public. Now my reflection showed my look of determination.

I walked over to my closet and changed into a pair of skinny jeans and a form-fitting shirt and vest to go with it. I went back to the mirror and began applying my usual make-up with some embellishment. I had been told plenty of times that I was a natural beauty, but I always liked the extra spark a bit of dark eye shadow could give my look. I styled my hair next, letting it curl around my shoulders with a touch of purposeful placement.

When I had completed my makeover, I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. The face staring back at me looked much more familiar now. Maybe I could start to move on now.

Even as I thought this I knew it wasn't true. The mirror can lie, it doesn't show you what's inside; it can tell you you're full of life. It's amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile.

_**Oh, I'm going my own way  
And, oh, my faith has lost its strength again  
It's been too hard to say  
We're falling off the edge again  
**_

I looked at the clock and realized I had wasted my morning; I had to be on set to rehearse in five minutes. I quickly double-checked my new look in the mirror and dashed out the door to make it on time.

Of course, who should I bump into (literally) but the three-named heart/jerk-throb that had haunted my every thought since we got together at the party months ago. Once I realized who exactly I had just run headfirst into, I quickly backed away from him, not wanting make things more awkward than they already were.

"Sorry, Chad," I mumbled. I wasn't sure if he'd be able to hear me.

"Don't worry about it," he said.

He glanced at me and our eyes met for a moment. I thought he would say something. Compliment me, insult me, I didn't care, just something so I would know he cared. After all, with Chad Dylan Cooper, even an insult means he cares a little; enough to waste his "precious breath on your existence." But no, instead he took one look at me and turned away, continuing to wherever he was headed originally.

Despite my former confidence in my appearance, a knot began to form in my throat. I knew this was one I couldn't fight, and I refused to rehearse while crying over Chad.

I texted Tawni. "Just bumped into Chad. Sorry, Tawn, but I think I'm right this time. Make up some excuse to Marshall, I'm skipping practice."

As I typed this, the sobs broke through. I still could not believe how easily Chad had written me off. I let go of the last bit of hope for us I held.

_**We're at an end  
We're at an end  
**_

I wound up back in my dressing room, considering my options one more time. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I spent at least an hour wondering what the best course of action would be. I finally decided that I knew and had known all along what I had to do.

I had to get over Chad Dylan Cooper.

I knew it was going to be one of the hardest if not the hardest thing I had ever had to do, but I understood its necessity. If he was going to act as if we were nothing more than passing strangers, then so was I. This was not going to be an easy task, but neither was getting a part on _So Random!_ And I did that just fine.

The mere thought of moving on made my heart clench, but it surprisingly did not bring tears to my eyes as I had expected. Chad had been presented with multiple opportunities to prove his "love" for me and he had never shown through. If he didn't want me anymore, then that was fine with me. I was going to forget about everything, just like he had done from the beginning.

If only actually doing these things was as easy as saying them.

_**Maybe you'll call me someday  
Hear the operator say the number's no good  
And that she had  
A world of chances for you  
**_

By the time Tawni returned from the set, I had redone my hair and make-up to look better than it had originally. On a normal day, she would have congratulated me on my abilities, but today she didn't.

"Wow," she said as soon as she caught a look at me through the mirror. I had forgotten that she never got to see me like this earlier that morning, hence the shock evident on her face and in her tone of voice.

"You like?" I asked grinning. I knew I wasn't the best liar in the world, but I could act and that's exactly what I planned to do until these feelings of depression left me for real.

"Um, yeah, I do like it," she stated warily, "but that's not what I was expecting. I mean, didn't you text me to say you couldn't make it to practice because you were having a break-_down_, not playing dress-_up_?"

I turned around to look at her. "Yes," I began, "that was the case. But during my little pity party, I realized that I had to move on. If Chad can act like we're total strangers, then so can I." I nodded sternly.

Tawni looked as if she was about to protest but instead just shook her head and walked behind her curtain to change out of her Dorothy costume from another segment to out "Evil Blogger" sketch.

"Me and the guys were going to go get lunch in the cafeteria in five," Tawni said, stepping out from behind her curtain in pink skinny jeans and a plain white shirt with a few different colored camisoles underneath. "Wanna join us?"

"Sure, sounds like fun." I didn't even pause to think about it. This is what the normal pre-Chad Sonny would have done, so I was going to do it, too.

Tawni and I left to meet up with the guys, planning our next shopping trip. I tried my hardest to make sure a certain blue-eyed babe was the last thing on my mind.

_**She had a world of chances for you  
She had a world of chances,  
Chances you were burning through  
**_

As we walked into the commissary, we groaned at the slop they were feeding us today. I made an effort not to look over at Chad's usual table, knowing that it would be a bad idea. This goal was achieved for a matter of seven and a half minutes or so – not that I was counting.

To my surprise, when I looked over, I didn't spot another bimbo trying to get with my ex-boyfriend. As a matter of fact, I didn't even see my ex-boyfriend. His entire cast was sitting around their table eating their usual five-star meals, but he was nowhere to be found. I shrugged it off and continued chatting with my cast mates.

That is, until the aforementioned boy walked into the cafeteria. I glanced up briefly, noting he was alone, wearing my favorite shirt on him, and still looking as happy as could be. I gritted my teeth and carried on my conversation with Nico with forced enthusiasm.

I didn't understand how he could be so okay with everything we had been through. Did I really mean that little to him? I stopped myself. I had already been down this road and I knew it led nowhere. I reminded myself that I was getting over him and just wanted him to be happy, which he seemed to be.

Eventually, these mantras were not enough to keep my façade intact. I stood up and began my walk back to solitude. I never even made it to the door.

_**Chances you were burning through  
Chances you were burning through  
**_

I once again bumped into Chad as I was walking with my head down. I looked up at him and tried to keep my composure.

"Sonny," he smirked, "just can't quit running into me, can you?"

I looked at him with a confused expression. Why was he suddenly trying to make conversation, make amends?

"Ah, now I see I've got you speechless," he declared arrogantly. His cast mates snickered and something inside me snapped.

I couldn't take his back-and-forth, on-and-off behavior anymore. I shoved him away from me, holding back tears once again. I knew we had gained the attention of everyone in the cafeteria and I didn't need it. I tried to scurry out of the public eye, but a hand on my wrist stopped me. I was about to turn around a slap him for being such a jerk, for toying with my emotions, for making me love him.

Before I had the chance, he tugged me back so that I spun around and was against his chest, his arms around my waist. I gasped. "Sonny," he said, quite loudly, "I love you."

I looked at him at a loss for words, wondering if this was some kind of joke. I pulled away to get a better look at him. And that's when I noticed it: he was smiling.

Really smiling, a big goofy grin that spread across his features and made his eyes shine brighter than ever before. It was the biggest smile I had ever seen donned on his angelic face, and I loved every bit of it.

_**You've got a face for a smile, you know**_

* * *

**A/N:** **_This is NOT the last chapter!_** I'm writing at least one more, so keep watching for it to be posted sometime this week, in the next few days if I'm feeling inspired. The song is "World of Chances," one of my absolute favorites off her new album and I believe it was written specifically for me. :P

Oh! And there is a reference in this chapter to another Demi Lovato song, virtual cookies and hugs for you if you catch it and know the song! Review, please!


	5. Chapter 5

Damn that smile of his.

Before I could even register what was happening, Chad captured my lips with his own in a breathtaking kiss that any girl would be crazy to deny. Although some may claim otherwise, I am perfectly sane and quickly complied. My hands found their way into his hair as his arms held me around the waist. As he tried to deepen the kiss, my senses came back to me and I hastily pulled away.

His eyes shot open and stared at me in confusion, no doubt wondering why I had discontinued our heated moment. I gazed back with a different kind of confusion as I retreated out of his grasp. Looking around and noticing that everyone was staring at us, I grabbed his hand and led him out of the commissary to find a secluded place.

"What was _that_, Chad?!" I asked him angrily once we found an abandoned hallway that led to the basement.

He smirked in response which made my heart swell and break at the same time. Was this all a big game to him? Tears began welling in my eyes at the thought.

_**Before I fall too fast  
Kiss me quick, but make it last  
So I can see how badly this will hurt me  
When you say goodbye  
**_

"You can't just kiss me like that, Chad!" I was yelling now, I'm sure anyone in the studio could hear but I didn't care at the moment; I was too busy making sure my voice didn't crack. "A week or two ago, I would have welcomed it, but we broke up, remember?"

We both noticeably cringed at the mention of the incident that had occurred a week before. Chad looked away from me and stared at the wall above my head. I could tell this was hurting him just as much as I had been hurting since we ended.

I shook my head and let out a strangled chuckled as I looked at the ground. "It was your choice," I mumbled. Even as it tumbled out of my mouth, I knew I shouldn't have said it. I glanced up to see his eyes boring into my soul.

"How can you even think that, Sonny?" he asked, incredulous. "I _proposed_ to you, why would I want to break up with you?" I thought this might have been a rhetorical question, but knew he was expecting an answer when he raised his eyebrows.

"Chad," I began, trying to keep my voice steady, "you wanted to keep us a secret even after you knew I didn't want to. That's choosing." I thought hit me as I was speaking; I didn't have time to filter my words. "And it seemed pretty damn obvious to me that you _did_ want to break up, considering not even two days after you were already working on charming another girl to replace me!" I had started to yell again and was glaring in his direction.

He looked hurt once again and stared into my eyes as he spoke at an almost whisper. "Did you ever think that was my way of coping? That maybe I didn't know how to deal with the fact that I love you and you weren't mine anymore? Those girls didn't mean anything to me, Sonny; they were just a way for me to forget about you. Obviously, they didn't help."

_**Keep it sweet, keep it slow  
Let the future pass, and don't let go  
But tonight I could fall too soon  
Into this beautiful moonlight  
**_

There were tears in his eyes and I could see his jaw clenching as he tried to hold himself together. I gazed at him, awestruck. That thought had never entered my mind, although it made perfect sense to me now. As I looked into his eyes, I remembered every instant, every joke, every touch, every kiss we had ever shared together. I was drowning in his ocean again and I wasn't sure I wanted to be rescued.

I almost took a step toward him, but stopped myself. Chad Dylan Cooper was supposedly the greatest actor of our generation; he could have effortlessly been acting at this moment. Maybe there were more cameras around taking in the whole scene, and then he would take the tape to _Gotcha_; maybe he would keep the tape to himself as blackmail; or maybe he just liked to see how vulnerable I made myself around him.

I couldn't believe any of these things were true, but they easily could have been. No matter what his intentions were, I knew I loved him and that trumped every other thought running through my mind. That is not to say, however, that I was ready to admit this.

I shook my head and looked away from the actor in front of me. "How do I know you're not lying?" I asked. I could hear him sigh in defeat as he realized I would not be giving in without a fight.

_**But you're so hypnotizing  
You've got me laughing while I sing,  
**__**You've got me smiling in my sleep  
And I can see this unraveling  
Your love is where I'm falling,  
**__**But please don't catch me**_

"What can I do to make you believe that I really do mean this?"

I heard the desperation in his voice and my heart broke.

"Chad Dylan Cooper is never desperate," he had told me once when we were having one of our usual play fights. Now that he was making it apparent that CDC did in fact get desperate, made me wonder how much longer I was going to break both of our hearts.

"Chad," I took a deep breath and prepared to let him know what I was feeling. "I'm scared." I glanced into his face, expecting to see amusement, but instead found understanding.

"I know, Sonbeam." He had given me the nickname at the beginning of our relationship and only referred to me as such when he knew I was cheerless.

"How do I know you won't hurt me again? How do I know you're being honest now?" I was staring at him, while he seemed to be very interested in something on his shoes.

"You'll have to just trust me, I guess." He finally looked up into my eyes and I could see tear stains on his cheeks.

_**See this heart won't settle down  
Like a child running scared from a clown  
I'm terrified of what you do  
My stomach screams just when I look at you  
**_

My breath hitched and my own tears were about to spill over. I bit my lip and turned away from him so I could wipe them away.

"Just," I pause. What did I want to do? "Just give me a minute to think, okay?" My voice finally broke and I faced him again. He knew why I had turned my back to him in the first place and nodded. He stepped away from me towards the end of the hall, but never left my sight.

I stared at him for a few minutes and just studied him. The way his hair was perfectly windswept and the best shade of blonde I had ever seen, the way his shirt fit him just right, even his shoes – clean but too informal for his _Falls_ uniform – drove me to the point of insanity. He kept his head down and his hands in his pockets as if he was also thinking of what could become of our situation, and maybe he was.

I knew Chad's acting, and this wasn't it. This wasn't Chad Dylan Cooper or CDC that he was showing me and it never had been. He had always just been Chad for me and he was proving that that was no different now. CDC would never let anyone in enough to hurt him or let anyone see him cry. Chad would do that and more; Chad let me into his life and seemed to be willing to do anything to keep me there. I loved Chad, but CDC would aggravate me to no end.

So what was I to do? Which side of him did I choose to ignore or accept? How long would it be before CDC got in the way of our happiness again and I was left right back in this position?

_**Run far away so I can breathe  
Even though you're far from suffocating me  
I can't set my hopes too high  
'Cause every "hello" ends with a "goodbye"  
**_

It was times like these when I wished life could be as easy as the storybooks: the prince would forget his arrogant, egotistical ways and the princess would love him for it and they would live happily ever after.

But I knew nothing could ever be the neat and tidy in the real world. Besides, non-arrogant Chad would be quite boring, in my opinion. Wasn't it his ego that started most of our pretend fights that I found to be so entertaining? I knew it wasn't his sweet disposition that caused so many of our disagreements, either, but I still found those to be fun. Before we were dating, it was always his sarcasm that drew me to him and away from the silliness of Nico and Grady.

Suddenly, I realized that I loved CDC and Chad Dylan Cooper just as much as I loved the side of Chad that only I got to see. I would never want him to change; he was a train wreck and that was why I loved him. Without his conceited attitude, it wouldn't be such an accomplishment that I had caught him and held on to him.

I looked at the floor and bit my bottom lip in apprehension. Was I ready for this? I barely knew what love was, let alone how long it would last. I knew that Chad claimed he would love me forever when he proposed, but he could feel differently now. Then again, if he was telling the truth, he still loved me and still wanted to be with me for the rest of our lives. I knew Chad would never lie to me and would definitely never lead me on like so many other guys had tried to do.

The memory of our fake date flashed into my mind and I smiled. As I looked back on it, it really was obvious that we both wanted the relationship to become real.

I looked at Chad again at the end of the hallway and knew what I wanted to happen.

_**But you're so hypnotizing  
You've got me laughing while I sing,  
**__**You've got me smiling in my sleep  
And I can see this unraveling  
Your love is where I'm falling,  
**__**But please don't catch me**_

I marched halfway down the hall and waited until Chad made his way to me, realizing that I wanted him to meet me. He raised his eyebrows at me as if to ask what I had decided on.

"You didn't want us to be public." He started to say something, but I held my hand up to stop him. "You didn't want us to be public, so we ended things. I could barely get out of bed for two days. And even when I did get up, I barely put any effort into my appearance and was not nearly as happy as I usually am. You broke my heart, Chad, when you chose your image over me and it hurt."

My voice cracked from emotion and Chad cringed. I looked into his eyes and saw that he was hurting from my words. I knew I had to continue, no matter how much it was hurting either of us.

"What hurt more was when I walked into the cafeteria every morning and saw you with a different girl every time. And I know you said that they were just distractions, but you looked so happy and it still _hurt_." A tear escaped from my eye and I let it fall. "I even tried to make you jealous with _Nico_ of all people." I laughed bitterly and looked at the floor.

I could feel more tears welling in my eyes but I still refused to acknowledge them.

"And then I was finally starting to try to get back to being my normal self when you show up today and kiss me in front of the entire cafeteria with no warning and no explanation and just expecting everything to go back to the way they used to be. You can't have it both ways, Chad. You have to choose."

Another tear fell from my eye. Chad reached out and brushed it away with his thumb and kept his hand against my face; I leaned into the comforting gesture and closed my eyes.

"Me or your image," I repeated in a whisper. "You have to choose…"

_**So now you see why I'm scared  
I can't open up my heart without a care  
But here I go, it's what I feel  
And for the first time in my life, I know it's real  
**_

I felt him take a step closer and move to speak softly into my ear. "I choose you a thousand times over."

He moved back only to cover my mouth with his once again. I instantly lost myself in the feel of his lips moving against mine again and my hands once more found their way into his hair. He pressed himself against me and I felt the wall against my back. His hands were around my waist and I never wanted them to move. We both pulled away after a few minutes, knowing that there was still a lot to talk about. However, he didn't move very far away; his forehead rested on mine and I still leaned against the wall.

I smiled up at him and saw the love in his eyes. Neither of us said or did anything for quite some time, content to just standing in each other's arms. This moment, like the first one months ago, was perfect and I refused to be the one to interrupt it.

After a few more minutes, Chad finally spoke. "Sonny, I haven't been able to perform one scene of my show since you left my dressing room."

To anyone else, that statement would seem like nothing, but I knew what he was saying. Chad could _always_ do his show, no matter what was going on in his life. The fact that he hadn't been able to since we broke up spoke volumes to me in the small hallway.

In that one sentence, I knew that he really, truly loved me more than I could imagine.

_**But you're so hypnotizing  
You've got me laughing while I sing,  
**__**You've got me smiling in my sleep  
And I can see this unraveling  
Your love is where I'm falling  
**__**So please don't catch me**_

I pulled his face down to mine and kissed him with all the emotion I had been keeping locked inside from the very beginning. He responded happily and before I knew it, we were hearing our names over the intercom to get to our sets immediately. We paused our make-out session and groaned, neither of us wanting to leave the other.

"We need to go," I told him sadly. "Maybe now you can get your show done." I grinned at him and he kissed me again. When he pulled away, he had another wide grin on his face just like earlier in the cafeteria.

"I love you so much, Sonny." He said it with so much emotion that I knew there was no room for debate.

"I love you, too, Chad." I smiled as wide as I could manage. I could only imagine what we looked like to anyone who happened to see us, just staring at each other and grinning. It was then that I realized we hadn't moved from our position; I was still pressed against the wall, and he was still holding me like I might fly away.

I gave him a look and he moved away from the wall, but pulled me with him. He kept one arm around me as we walked. "I'll walk you to your set," he said smiling.

I leaned into him and we chatted like we always had as we walked. People passing us on our way either looked shocked and offended or smirked and nodded. When we reached my set, he leaned down and kissed me sweetly.

"I'll see you later?" he asked as he pulled away.

I nodded. "I'll come to your dressing room?"

"How about instead we go out. I know this amazing restaurant we can go to." He smiled at me, knowing this was what I had wanted to hear from the beginning. "And," he added, "I can show you off to everyone we might happen to see." He winked.

I stood speechless as he walked away to his set. I didn't know if love could survive anything, but I knew we would.

_**If this is love, please don't break me  
I'm giving up so just catch me**_

* * *

**A/N:** And it's done! Yay! This was seriously so much fun to write. I love all you reviewers! But I got my first ever flame on this story. :( Kind of depressing. The song for this chapter is "Catch Me" by Demi Lovato.

Kudos to cdc4ever for being the only one to catch the "Believe In Me" reference in the previous chapter as of 2/21/10!

**I'm considering writing a sequal to this, from Chad's POV using Jonas Brothers songs, but I'm not sure. If you'd be interested in that, leave a review and let me know!**


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